Welcome 2009! I'm so glad you're here! 2008 was filled with the highest of highs and the lowest of lows. As I reflect on 2008, I'm overwhelmed with mixed emotions but with an underlying feeling of thankfulness. In fact, one year ago today, the first Saturday of the year, I was taking my first hormone shots for In-Vitro. I remember the anxiety, the excitement, the emotional exhaustion of that day. I was terrified at the thought of administering a shot to myself, let alone in my stomach! I was scared and yet strangely excited. I knew that this meant that we were finally on the road to our children. Although, I didn't want to give myself shots and starring at the table full of drugs seemed a little daunting, I was choosing this road. I was choosing to do whatever it took to have a family. I can look back at that day and remember the emotions, but also I realize how naive I was to the future. Little did I know what was to come this past year. I had no idea that one year ago today, was the start of something so great, yet so painful. I am so thankful that God doesn't give us too much insight into the future. If God would allow me to see what would happen, I think I would have chose not to do the In-Vitro to spare the heartache. But, I can't hardly bare to think of what all I would have missed. I would have missed the joy I experienced the first time I took a positive pregnancy test and the total awe I had in God's power. I would have missed hearing the most beautiful sound God created, the heartbeat of your children. I would have missed having the ultrasounds and seeing my sweet children move about inside of me. I would have missed feeling them kick and move and dreaming about what they looked like. I would have missed the moment of when I saw my children for the first time. I would have missed feeling the instant, indescribable and overpowering love God gives you for your children. I would have missed seeing their sweet faces, kissing them gently, and holding them tightly. Yes, I could have missed out on the pain and heartache, but I would have missed out on experiencing God's healing touch in my life. I am incredibly humbled by our God. Although He knew how much pain we would endure, He also knew how much we would receive. I am so thankful God doesn't let us see the future. If we knew what was to come, our innate reaction is to avoid hurt and pain, but by doing this we would most definitely avoid God's greatest blessings. God is speaking loudly to me to TRUST HIM!
"And we know that all things work together for good to those who love God, to those who are called according to His purposes." Romans 8:28
So, as I end this blog, I'm stepping out in boldness and faith and sharing something with you. Adam and I are starting our journey to have a family once again. As strange as it may sound, today, yes today, one year later, the first Saturday of the year, I am taking my first shot for our next round of In-Vitro. Last year Adam and I chose to keep our journey to ourselves but this time around we've decided to share our journey with our friends and family. After all that we've been through, we realize how great it is to have the support of our closest family and friends through difficult and trying times. We know that this journey won't be easy but hope that with God's support and your encouragement, we'll come through this and receive all that the Lord has for us! Please keep us in your prayers throughout this next month. I will be sure to keep my blog updated with the latest news on our journey into parenthood!
Love and multiple blessings to you this 2009! We are declaring that THIS is the year of the Lord's favor in our lives!
-Tami
