A Mother's Love

It's really hit me these past few days how much I truly love being a "Mom". Having this title was something that I had dreamed about so often these past 10 years. Sure, I knew I'd love being a mom and having a baby (or in my case, babies!) But I never realized to the extent that I would love it. Not to really compare myself to others, but I have to wonder, does everyone really love being a mom as much as I do or am I just crazy?!? I love it so much, to the point that I think I could easily see us having more in the near future. Tell me moms: Am I just in the "honeymoon stage?" Does it get harder instead of easier? I guess, I think the hardest has already been. Those first few weeks home from the hospital, with little sleep, changing diapers with one eye open, those were the hardest moments. But, if I can be completely honest, I know this sounds ridiculous, it wasn't all that bad! Maybe it's all relative. After going through years of infertility, only to conceive, carry, deliver and bury our twins, and then to have such a rough pregnancy again, only to deliver the girls so early, spending 6 weeks in the hospital worrying about their tiny lives, I guess all of this makes a little sleep deprivation seem minuscule compared to how bad things could really be. I'm not sure I would have loved motherhood this much if I hadn't gone through all that I have had to face these past few years and so, for that, I am thankful for those trials. If it weren't for those difficult times, I'm not sure I would treasure every moment the way I do now. I have to think that I wouldn't take in the moments like I have been with these girls if I hadn't lost Audrey and Avery. Every single time I pick up one of the girls, and yes, it's every single time, I have a "moment" when I just think about them, what they feel like, their weight, what they smell like, etc. and realize the magnitude of what I have in my arms. It sounds cheesy, but it's true. I really appreciate the blessings God has bestowed upon me. I view them like little treasures that you handle with such gentleness and tenderness. I know how precious it is, because of what I've lost. I'm so thankful that God has allowed me to be home with the girls and really by His grace, He has made my home peaceful so that I can thoroughly enjoy every moment I have with them. I didn't have much time with Audrey and Avery, but by His grace and His amazing love for me, He's giving me the chance to fully experience a Mother's Love.